Cancer!

Have been doing a lot of stuff on cancer lately! n yes... cancer did originate from "crab" interestingly enough.. so i suppose its the same one as the horoscope cancer :p it seems kinda like a very generalised and "scary" term since anything cancer has to be very bad... like a taboo word among patients somehow :P and we gotta like differentiate a growth from a cancer since not all tumors are cancerous... only the malignant ones ...

hehe.. oh well... most common cancers in order are :

Lung
Breast
Colorectal
Prostate
Pancreas !?

Melancholy...

True Light
a sad light shone
turning into wings that cut the white darkness
shone upon by the cold sun
I had some limited freedom
the miraculous night cast by the mirror
started to remove my mask, my soul
on the other side of the collapsing wall
despair and hope looks the same
if there's a heart that's yet to be seen
lets head to the end of the prologue
the fake light is disappearing
the true light is born
in these hands...
the fake light is disappearing
the true light is born
in these hands...
pierce through the night dyed in white
keep on creating a new era
create time with your heart
fly through the eternal white night

--- english translation
D.N.Angel

Phobia...

Phew i feel tired somehow... so much to do ... not enough time and yet... sometimes i just procrastinate... I also realise that sometimes i'm just a huge coward. For some reason... or maybe putting it nicely i have strong self preservation skills. I'm unlikely to step out of my nice comfy cycle if it is going to cause me any distress beyond my normal "homeostatic" abilites :p

Did venupuncture practice yesterday which is like practicing drawing blood from people. And i gotta say that i was pretty traumatized somehow... to my embarassment.. sigh... i didn't feel too good after my fren failed to draw blood on two tries n i think i turned a bit pale... somehow i would attribute that more to psychology then anything coz there wasn't any bleeding at all.. n come to think of it i do get very freaked out over any blood taking thingy .. sigh.. how pitiful... to have so many "phobias" ... sound like a chicken... :p

Juggling pins...

Whoa! My first week back from holiday and its almost all gone!! And i feel sooo.. tired .. i think i'm seriously getting lazy from the holidays.... the lectures feel like they are too long... hehe and many things happened this week really.. i'm gonna stay in Dunedin for next year... need to find a flat... found a flat ... need to contemplate flatmates and place to stay and all those things plus keeping up with work, studies and sleep... man i really wanna sleep in sometime... :p

Life somehow seems like a complex juggling of many things trying to find the balance without having to drop any of them ... and also teetering at the edge of falling off and staying on? Although sometimes i think everything comes crashing down and it seems hopeless but then somehow God puts them back together as quickly as he has made them all fall apart? Makes me realise how much it means to depend on God really... coz without the "thorn" in my side i think i'd go overboard although with too much trouble i think i'd fall apart.. so isn't it one very intricate balancing act? It's altogether unpredictable i'd say so why stress too much? :)

"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging. "

Psalm 46:1-3

Christchurch BTN...bunch of us hanging around in the garden of our hotel..

Bus bus bus around....

Today me n Ruth went all the way to Pak n Save and Warehouse in South Dunedin! Of course we didn't actually walk the like 1 hour day.. we just decided to be smarter and use public transportation :p it turned out that it wasn't all that hard to catch a bus there anyway... even though initially we just went to the bus stop and like hung around coz we couldn't figure out which one to take ! and we also paid a visit to Angela where she was working :p Altogether quite fun.... spent some time wondering around and all and bought quite a bit of stuff from pak n save.. Can't miss the chance to go shopping a bit.

I'm still getting over my haircut.. sigh.. assuming that not too many ppl read this blog and the ones that are reading it alreaddy know :p so yeah.. i think i got it cut tooooooo short........ i got a variety of kinda weird comments... like i look like a schoolgirl or i just came from m'sia? hmmm... i donno if i actually wanna look that young..... ..... i was sorta gonna go for the more mature, slick, evil look :p hehehe....

oh well.... thats life...... not too exciting not too dull...

Searching, waiting... slacking...

I think my blog is getting a bit desolate :p... got back on Saturday but haven't really been feeling up to update coz i think all that negative energy should be channelled elsewhere or else i'm gonna be sounding very bitter and annoyed....

My holidays is still on unlike maybe quite a lot of people but its getting back into a routine thats hard... been kinda doing a mix of slacking off and thinking about studying... might i emphasize the word "thinking" not "doing".... argh!!!

"The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail."
Isaiah 58:11