"Untitled"

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

- Simple plan

Aren't i cruel?

Say there is a story o a begger who would always come to you for food. And for some time perhaps you would feed him and try to care for him since he's being a begger n all that But then.... this starts to happen more n more.. n then you feel that the begger isn't really a begger anymore.... he's not without funds, he's just someone who is to lazy to look for food.....or hasn't quite planned things out properly... n then.. i feel annoyed. Its like a fly hovering around my shoulder just waiting for that offer of free food n then.... i just snap n stubbornly refuse. I don't feel like it... its inconvenient... why should i ? you can do it urself... selfish thoughts plundernig my mind. Maybe if its something i have convenient excess off or something easy.....

so there goes my kind and caring heart obviously its a situational thing..... when i don't feel like it... i can be really cruel.

Happy weekend...

Ahh... this weekend is the break between my acute med run n my cardiology run... feels so good to be able to rest :p So what have i been doing? hehe.. i think my main achievement perhaps was baking... n eating ... hehe .... i made pumpkin pie, 2 banana choc chip cakes and a choc mud cake.. :-p... n also went out for dinner on Sat evening at Jitsu.... mmmm ... yaki udon... ....

hehe..... obviously not too productive on the study side :p



This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.

You said, 'No, we will flee on horses.'
Therefore you will flee!
You said, 'We will ride off on swift horses.'
Therefore your pursuers will be swift!

- Isaiah 30:15-16

A break for the weary...

Friday, what a wonderful day. In many ways it signifies an end... a break.... to the week of 5 busy days.. n also this friday is the end of my Acute medicine run! Yay... it was hectic it was fun... but i was just too tired... i think my sleep deficits accumulated ... making it more tiring, the further on i got... i'm glad i managed to pass my oral exma today.. although the entire run thing is still to be said....

There's many things i would wish i could do better... but i do what i can with what i have at the time... i'm not 200% person.. more like a 99% +/- 0.1 kinda person... trying to cut it close to what i need to do but not doing much extra... i suppose that kinda counts as lazy?.. hehe :P

Reflections... i feel that sleep has been neglected, i also need more quality time with God. Hoping for some nice rest and maybe more rest the next run? or maybe better time management... after all we tend to blame the system for things that may well be our own doing....