Kayakking...

Ahh.. holidays are so sweet... have been doing heaps of stuff so far... 3 potlucks, made wontons, dumplings.. hehe lots of cake making :p... sleepover at Josh's place.. n getting acquainted with Cranium.. hmmm... really fun n challenging game! I really hate the singing and acting though... i'm completely hopeless at it...

And the big highlight recently was going kayakking yesterday! Lots of pics in Gallery 3 usual pass:abc It was great fun! Went to like Portobello with like 3 of my med frenz n we kayakked around quarantine island... took us like 1-2 hours i think we were so slow.. :p... n i was soo sore... like not even 1/3 of the way already sore arms and we had lots of breaks in between, not to mention a wet bum n lots of sea salt!

Cakes!!!

Just coz i feel like eating now... these are some of the cakes i've made this year hehe

Chocolate mud, banana choc chip n sponge. :-p

 

"I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." -Oscar Wilde

"Untitled"

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

- Simple plan

Aren't i cruel?

Say there is a story o a begger who would always come to you for food. And for some time perhaps you would feed him and try to care for him since he's being a begger n all that But then.... this starts to happen more n more.. n then you feel that the begger isn't really a begger anymore.... he's not without funds, he's just someone who is to lazy to look for food.....or hasn't quite planned things out properly... n then.. i feel annoyed. Its like a fly hovering around my shoulder just waiting for that offer of free food n then.... i just snap n stubbornly refuse. I don't feel like it... its inconvenient... why should i ? you can do it urself... selfish thoughts plundernig my mind. Maybe if its something i have convenient excess off or something easy.....

so there goes my kind and caring heart obviously its a situational thing..... when i don't feel like it... i can be really cruel.

Happy weekend...

Ahh... this weekend is the break between my acute med run n my cardiology run... feels so good to be able to rest :p So what have i been doing? hehe.. i think my main achievement perhaps was baking... n eating ... hehe .... i made pumpkin pie, 2 banana choc chip cakes and a choc mud cake.. :-p... n also went out for dinner on Sat evening at Jitsu.... mmmm ... yaki udon... ....

hehe..... obviously not too productive on the study side :p



This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.

You said, 'No, we will flee on horses.'
Therefore you will flee!
You said, 'We will ride off on swift horses.'
Therefore your pursuers will be swift!

- Isaiah 30:15-16

A break for the weary...

Friday, what a wonderful day. In many ways it signifies an end... a break.... to the week of 5 busy days.. n also this friday is the end of my Acute medicine run! Yay... it was hectic it was fun... but i was just too tired... i think my sleep deficits accumulated ... making it more tiring, the further on i got... i'm glad i managed to pass my oral exma today.. although the entire run thing is still to be said....

There's many things i would wish i could do better... but i do what i can with what i have at the time... i'm not 200% person.. more like a 99% +/- 0.1 kinda person... trying to cut it close to what i need to do but not doing much extra... i suppose that kinda counts as lazy?.. hehe :P

Reflections... i feel that sleep has been neglected, i also need more quality time with God. Hoping for some nice rest and maybe more rest the next run? or maybe better time management... after all we tend to blame the system for things that may well be our own doing....

Wash your mouth....

We had a great G12 meeting on Saturday night, one that refreshed our sprit and brought us back on track. During which, we decided to cut out the use of 'swear words'.... a good and noble cause i would agree. However, we came to this difficulty of differentiating what is considered a swear word and what is not. And to be honest, most of us aren't actually big 'swear-ers' in the first place... i already have really bad connotations with most of the more vulgar and profane aspects of the language.

But then, there is the in between, semi benign words... like 'oh my goodness', 'gosh?', 'crap', 'oh man', 'shoot'... those kinda stuff... n i suppose at first glance... u might say... what? is that even swearing? n i would agree.... it does not sound like swearing... although we argued that they acts as the substitute for bad words and that is whats important.... again reasonable, to a certain extent.... although it just doesn't sit too well with me. From a personal perspective, a lot of these words don't quite impinge on my conscience... hence the ease of saying them... n the other being the context as sometimes u may just use like "oh my goodness thats huge".... or like "shoot, i dropped my pencil!" Since if they are 'replacements' shouldn't they be used in a negative way since most of the original words had bad intentions anyway?

A quick search brings up the definition of profanity:
1. treating with abuse, irreverance, contempt ie desecrate
2. debasing by a wrong, unworthy, vulgar use

other related words to my idea of bad language - offensive, crude, immorality

A verse i found useful was :

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
- Ephesians 4:29

"But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'"
- Matthew 13:35

These suggest, that we should watch our mouths. Foul language reflects the condition of our heart. Bad language can dishonour God and other people. A conversation riddled with cursing, crude expressions, profanity would ruin any clean and noble ideas. Judgemental statements can hurt peoples' feelings and break down their self esteem. An article from the Daily Bread (dec 7 2002), likens it to noise pollution, which can crowd out God's voice in our life. It creates a corrupt and unholy environment which is not conducive to clean and Godly living. And hence, we should not use bad language.

I may go on and on... without ever deciding the issue.... however, i think to me... it is more of an issue of intention then an issue of words. Unwholesome words reflect an unclean mind. To stay away from words that can create an ungodly environment and mindset. Whatever does not help me with my walk to God, which keeps me from hearing his voice and doing his will... that is what we should stay away from. For some people perhaps this may mean different things, the focus though is always on God. Our aim, to have a conversation "full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer to everyone." Colossians 4:6 That being my debate, the trueness of my claims... perhaps only God can answer. Thus, Lord i pray grant me a conscience, to guide me along Your will.

"Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
keep watch over the door of my lips."
- Psalm 141:3

"The Lord says:
"These people come near to me with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship of me
is made up only of rules taught by men. "
- Isaiah 29:13

When i was tired and weary,

you picked me up,

when i felt that i would break,

you held me tight,

when i felt i could go now further,

you stopped to let me rest,

when i wanted to lay in the dust, give up the fight,

i thought of you,

and the sun came out,

and dried my tears,

all battered and bruised,

you took me back,

for without you, i am nought.

New pic update!

Hehe.. just thought i'd leave a short note to say that camp was great!!! n i've posted all the pics from easter camp, port chalmers trip and iris' b-day! Its in gallery 3 with the usual password:abc :-) Yes! I am back.... hopefully more frequently :p

Resting

Today is a day off for me.... coz its Otago anniversary day! hehe.... how nice.... i woke up this morning feeling much more peaceful than i have for a long time. I think the previous weeks have taken quite a lot out of me.

Eventhough i have never been a person who likes to tramp around n do sporty stuff.... i have always loved nature... like the apple tree outside my window, trees, grass, flowers.... simple beauty in their imperfections. They reflect a life and dynamic change that u cannot find in any other man made object... the wonder of God's creation!

I passed my geratrics run and also my communiction skills on thursday. It was like relieving a load of my chest. Just hope that the future runs will be easier to cope with. This whole hospital environment is just so alien yet interesting. I love meeting all the different patients and stuff.... coz especially in the elderly... they are wonderful people with heaps of life story. On the other hand, being on the ward is also like being on rough waters. Never sure what will happen, what ur supposed to do , where to go... a lost feeling sometimes and one of not belonging.

Ahh... the duality of many things...
but for now just some peace....

"The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever." - Isaiah 40:8

My poor poor blog...

Ah... my poor poor blog.. i think it is falling to shambes of disuse :p.. i haven't updated since last month and its now February! Whoa!! hehe.. well i've had a heap of trouble anyway.. since my computer as out of commision sometime in January and was at the repair shop and then.. i came back here and was stuck without internet for like a month or so.. so yeah.. pathetic service if you ask me!....

Church was good... it gives me time to reflect on things... i realise i have been awfully slack over the holidays. Nothing much to show for my what 2 months of blissful rest. I have been working hard out since beginning of Feb though since started classes for 3 weeks already. Its all quite a big leap and i'm not used to it.. n things just go over my head sometimes... It tires me out really.. have to give so much attention and effort... and yet not get much in return...my 150 % only gives a 75% return n going at 100% would give me even less... sigh...Woe to my inability .... but also thank God for being the all through out coz sometimes i just have to stop and ask him to give me the strength to do this coz its so much easier to lie back and do nothing.... the complications of life...

You reap what you sow.... hoping for what you did not sow is a lost cause. Gone are the days of cheerful play and minimal effort.

Updating my life

A new year has come already! Its 2006, and i can't imagine how fast the time has passed me by. I still have a lot of broken links to take care of. In the New Year, its customary to start off with New Year resolutions or some clean new sheet. And to be honest, i think this year is going to be very different and very challenging. I hope for many changes and yet realistically i'm striving to do none since i'm so slack and relaxed here at home.... :p

My recent joy has been writing and posting online. Yes i know i have mentioned it before, but my mood has taken a recent upward turn since i managed to get 36 reviews as of late! haha!! Not an astounding number but more than amazing for my amateurish work. *big smile & twirls around the room* I'm so glad for the review button.

Friends have left for studies it seem (ie. no more default driver) and its just me and Chute... and Ange is still hiding out in Mukah!!! Waaaaa.... Anyway i'm being annoying... I think i'm just not too pleased since i still have some issues with my student visa and not being able to spend Chinese New Year here since i start school on guess what the 2nd day of CNY !*cries* Why why....And so i've been out to eat and probably will still be eating with grandparents and friends and all hehe to drown out the blues in waves of fatty consolation... :p

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. ²Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."

Colossians 3:1-3

After Christmas

Christmas has come and past. How quickly the season has gone by. I don't remember much of it as somehow this year, the celebrations were not as impressionable. Although i suppose if there is something i remember, its that i have a bad memory. Somewhat paradoxical i suppose, but the moments when i have forgotten stuff n people in particular tend to be the more memorable times since they were pretty embarassing moments.

As it is, i'm just passing my days, been writing my story and i've to say i'm pleasantly happy with the reviews i'm getting. Ahhh.... the joys of electronic feedback. Somewhere along the line.. i'm still knittingi my scarf... Went to watch The Promise tonight. It's a chinese fantasy movie sort of. Totally amazing special effects, rather unbelievable but totally crazy and yet so very cool. And yes i pretty much liked it, after all far fetched fantasy has always been my favourite. I did watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire... and i think it was not bad. Although i suppose having read the books made the whole thing all that much more predictable :P I spent a lot of time just naming the characters and explaining the rather complicated plot to my siblings. Hope my new year will turn up with some much better resolutions and ways to spend the day. I'm way too unproductive as it is :p

Time just seems to creep by so quickly when ur enjoying urself! I got back from my KL trip last Thursday. It was quite good, although KL is probably hotter than Sibu in my opinion coz of all that smog and tall buildings.. argh!! But the shopping was great. I think we didn't do much other than shop actually, coz i kinda got sick on the last 2 days so we didn't go up to Genting Highlands :(. I blame it on the 'yong tau fu' That stuff is not fresh man! even if from a foodcourt in the mall, what to say the street side stalls. Man, at least Sibu doesn't have roadside stalls, cause they are banned by the way. All the stalls have to be within a shoplot.

Well, i suppose KL turned out to be a jumble of eating and shopping. Managed to try most of the foods i was interested in like: claypot, sizzling noodle, yee mee, teppanyaki, sushi, yong tau fu, chi cheong fun, penang kueh teow, roti canai.... :p hehe... but i realise its pretty expensive eating there compared to here and the stuff they sell isn't much cheaper really. I think Sibu's still reasonably balanced on price, availability and conenience... since its so close :)

Anyways, i've been pretty lazy since then.. i suppose, although i did manage to make some balloon animals! Yes, you heard me right.. its when u blow up those long balloons and make a dog and giraffe and all that stuff out of them. Pretty cool, i say... although i guess it'd probably be a not too pleasant experience for those who dislike balloons! heh..... i can think of some good uses of those skills now... ehehehe...

Watched King Kong the other day, it wasn't too bad... although the tickets were more expensive like what, coz the movie was 3 hours long!! What kinda excuse is that? Ok i know it sounds reasonable in some way but i never heard them do it for anything else so yeah! The shows full of disgusting and gross gigantic creep crawlies though! Even my little bro was freaked out by the people eating slugs :p... but i suppose if you ignore that the picture quality and effects is all pretty good ! I'm hoping to watch the 4th HP installment soon.

Mmmm... n baked a chocolate brownie for my little bro's birthday yesterday. Although it ended up being real hard though especially after going in the fridge! I think these cakes are way too heavy... i felt a severe chocolate overload... :p... I think it tastes better in NZ.

Writing the days away...

Wow its December already! Time really flies -- not sure if that is a good thing though... since i do want my holidays to last rather than just fly by. As usual haven't been doing much useful stuff really. Although I somehow decided maybe i should write like a random story or something and post it online. Its always a curiousity to see how many people actually read those kind of stuff :p. My writing skills are probably only mediocore at best but i suppose... i was actually that bored to actually think of something like that?

"Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing." – John Andrew Holmes

Hello... just a pic of me at Auckland airport! Its quite nicely decorated now that its almost Christmas. All that lovely Christmas bells and tinsel and all :p I guess i was bored... and it was a pretty long trip although i thin it wasn't so bad this time. Sibu is hot hot... but its nice to be back. Home cooked food... family and all the familiar things ... interestingly not much has changed really... things still look the same... only small changes like my parents installing air-cons (yay!!!) n the changing of parking tickets from the ones u punch holes in to ones that u scrape off the silver stuff. It kinda helps to prevent cheating i suppose since u can't cover up the number after u've scraped off the silver stuff unlike the holes which u can patch back up :p

I suppose life's just moving along ... i went to the market the other day and yep.. still same old - busy, full of food.. hehe my favourite... i just like to poke around and look at all the different food on sale... yummm...

its nice to be back ~contented sigh~ 

Home

I'm officially home! yeah.... all that travelling finally paid off.. i just got back this morning and had a nice long nap in the afternoon. Its good to be home! Although it is sooo hot........ feels like an oven... not to mention its pretty noisy and rowdy since my little brother is on holiday!!!

It was a pretty hectic journey n all but i thank God that i'm back safe and sound :)

This is just a random post.. i'm sick of studying... I have one last exam on Friday and then i'm free!!!!!!!! i can't wait .. i've been revising and re-revising stuff these few days... exam on monday n then today.. i feel so exhausted... four hours is so long... in the end i just want to pass...

My life is so boring.. since its mainly sleep wake up study play computer study eat play computer study play computer sleep? hehehe... ok thats fairly repetitive but i suppose u get what i mean? I can't wait for those wonderful days when i'm free, just lazing around, doing nothing useful.. ... ahhhh....